I jotted down this poem a long time ago. It’s been sitting in my Drafts folder ever since. Honestly, I’ve been afraid to publish it. I felt like it presented me in an unfavorable way. I’m much more comfortable keeping my struggles and inadequacies to myself. That mindset prevents me from sharing and getting closer to my real, authentic self. If you don’t like it*, that’s okay. I appreciate whatever time you give it.
The Battle to Be the Real Me
Can I be the real me?
Funny on the outside
Hiding on the inside
I'm critical of others to cover
what I hope people won't discover
Can I show the real me?
Humble, devout, helpful
Everyone thinks I'm faithful
Secrets remain locked inside my mind
Rather than to appear unkind
Can I live the real me?
Great dad around the house
Appear to be Griffith or Cleaver
Like a snake shedding its skin
Don't try to ever let them in
Can I see the real me?
Recycle, reuse, save, save, save
Smokey the Bear is my friend
Drive an SUV, live in a cool pad
Trying to sport the latest fad
I've spent too much projecting outward
Trying to cover my inner ugliness
We're all human
Stuck in neutral, sometimes worse
It should not feel like a curse
Father, humble yourself
Mother, be strong
Brother, show understanding
I don't wish to judge you either
Everybody stop, take a breather
Time to find the real me
I'm doing the best I can
People either accept me or not
If I cannot be fully seen
What really does my existence mean?
*A long time ago, I published a poem on this site. It probably wasn’t great, but I did put a lot of heart into it. I received a couple of comments, mostly good, but one very critical. Their comment basically said it sucked. It really hurt and, likely, is the main reason I hadn’t published this until now.